Sacrifice.

Admitting Defeat....

I admit I've lost
I've lost out on you
I'm at my wits end
With nothing to do
Should I confess
Or just stay down
I decided my place
Fading into the background
This thing we have
I'm trying to stop it
Now all i can do is sit
and wait.

Self-Expression

I write what I feel
I feel what I write
If i wrote all of what I though
I'd be sitting here all night
This rhyme scheme is lame
It's not true to my name
But i just don't know what to say
Is been a long day
irritated me in such a way
that i cant flow
i cant vibe
I guess I'm just confused inside.

So Much For Not Caring.

Smh, I'm def full of it.

I pretend I don't care
I pretend you mean nothing
I want to cut you off so bad
But we both know I'm bluffing
Turt says come clean
If I hold it inside I will rot
He wants me to tell her
But we both know I'm not
I don't wanna screw things up
between me and you
even though I'm at this crossroad
where I can't decide what to do
but screw it
I'll keep it all bottled up inside
Cause the only thing worse
than my feelings for you
Is definitely my pride.
SMH.

I Dared to Care

I dared to care and look where it got me
Experiencing numerous feelings that have been dying to get free
I'm hot, I'm cold, I'm up, I'm down
But thats nothing compared to when you're around
i front and I flaunt that you meant nothing.
But my downfall is that i got way too trusting
I started to care and that's def not my swag
I got confused, i thought i wanted to bag
I was buggin.

Melodramatic

You make me laugh
I make you cry
You say I'm cruel
You ask me why
Why I'm acting so weird
Truth is I dont know
Can't hide from my feelings
Cause theres nowhere to go
I dont know why I waited so long
I don't know why these feelings grew strong
All i know is now those feelings are gone
Soon you will be too, it won't be long
Til I move on......I've moved on lol.

My Best Friend

Footballs don't judge
Footballs don''t question
Footballs dont remind you that in every problem there's a lesson.
Footballs....they listen.
Footballs. They pay attention
When footballs respond there's nothing, that they forget to mention
They're tough when you need em
They're always around
I know in the end....my football will hold me down
Lmfao (random poem....popped in my head watching the mock draft.)

Numb

I should care...but I dont
It worries me that I lost all feeling.
That I don't care what you do.
I talk to my friends and they say im confused but im not.
I've really never thought this clearly.
Devoid of all emotion.
I guess that's good right?
So I can't get hurt
So I can't be violated
what worries me is not that you could be so blind
It's that I frankly....don't care.

Drop

Okay so I gotten a lot of shit about why people call me drop. Just to clarify It is a nickname given to me by a close friend, its an inside joke and it has nothing to do with something I've done, the way i act, or a situation I've been in. I also go by Jay....most people call me Jared or Jay. Yal can choose for yourselves.....btw I say yal a lot.

Turt Hit Me

K well today my boy Turt hit me....you may wonder why...I am a confused person when i deal with girls. It is extremely easy for me to get in my own way when it comes to girls. I can be interested in more than one girl at a time (btw I'm interested up until the point that I legitimately want a relationship....then it's "like") because of my habit of multitasking I can never fully focus on one. Due to my inablilty to focus I usually end up with complicated situations which suck and I do not have the patience for....causing me to lose interest and move on. I have a veryyyy short attention span so if a girl makes me lose interest it's fairly easy for me to move on. One thing I do not get is emotionally invested in people which makes it easy to cut people off if I need to. But I digress, I got wayyyyyyy off the topic. So anywho, Turt hit me because I won't choose between to girls that I am interested in. In my defense it would be hard for any guy to pass them up, both are good looking and both have different things to offer. So why choose?

One of Those Days.

It's just one of those days
When I'm glad that I have your love
It's just one of those days
When I feel you've been sent from above
It's just one of those day
When I'm feeling blue
It's just one of those days
When I thank god that I have you

Secret Love

No one can know the things we do.
No one can know the things we share.
No one can know how much I care.
No one can understand how it feels to be inside you.
No one can understand what we've been through.
You're always on my mind.
Tickling my senses.
You always know exactly what I'm thinking.
You always know when I've been drinking. (=])
You hold my attention with just one look.
You're the love of life.
You're my Rhyme Book

I Notice.

I notice the way you say hi to me.
I notice the way I make you smile.
I notice how you pull your hair back behind your ears.
I notice how you love it when I hold you.
I notice how loud you scream when I tickle you.
I notice how you like it when I bite.
I notice how you smile at me when you think I'm not looking.
I notice how you love it when I look at you.
I notice how you always hold on to my arm.
I notice how you care about my problems.
I notice how you listen when I need to someone to talk to.
I notice how you sing all the time. I love it.
I notice how you love hearing that I love you.
I notice how much I really care.
And it scares me.

First Blog Ever

My name is Jared A.K.A Jay A.K.A Drop. (<-----) I usually don't do that but i figured this being my first blog i might as well. Where do I start? I'm 17 and bored of life. Senior Year is def overrated and there are very few people in my life who i actually love. My fam is mostly female, so girls have never been THAT much of a mystery to me, although because of the women in my family i have high standards for females....It's a developing problem. I go through girls fairly quickly because most bore me. I like girls that can keep up with me as well as challenge me. If a girl doesn't argue...shes not for me. I sing. I love it, its relaxing and it relieves stress. I also write music and poems. Another thing about me, it is reallyyyyyyy hard for me to get angry...I just don't see the need. The only thing that truly upsets me is ignorance. There is no justification for ignorance, ignorance is a choice that is made.
One truly Important thing about me is that I have random streams of consciousness, it is extremely hard to keep up with my complicated thought process. I hate the pointlessness of assigning people a category due to the way they dress or where they come from. I admittedly assign people categories according to their personality traits, its a habit of mine. I classify how people act by observing and after I know what kind of person they are it dictates how I act towards them. I also like taking pictures, alot of which I intend to post on here. "Fact: The fact that you have a vagina makes you insane." <--- I said this, and I stand by my statement. All women are insane.....not because they are in fact certifiable, but because of the fact that they can think of a million different things at one time and a million different scenarios at the same time. That would make anyone insane.
I have a few close friend that I enjoy spending time with, yes they all have some serious flaws but I love them because they actually understand me...which is much more complicated that ^ reading what I write here. They all are intelligent no matter what others may think and all of them are unique and creative (defff a queer moment lmao). They should all also know that I will never speak about them in this way ever again. Thats another thing, I can be extremely mean lmao not alot of people can tolerate my jokes.....i'm know for sometimes crossing the line. I like to test my limits, it gives me an idea on where i stand with different people.
I am extremely upset that I just wrote about 2 more paragraphs than I set out wanting to write. It is 2 days after Valentines day, I spent my Valentines day being a wingman for my friend with the girl he was interested in and her friend. I sacrificed my day for him outta love (no homo). I didn't need to go hard on valentines day because the girls i'm interested in I can always spend time with. Valentines day is just a day for guy to go hard, im not concieted but I dont feel like I need to go hard for just one day. The girls I spend time with know how I am and know I dont need a day to make them feel special.