-_-

I've tried and tried
many times
to leave you alone
and each time I lied
thinking it would get better
oddly enough I'm glad I kept trying
kept lying..
Because if I didnt i'd probably regret it
now i know your like a poison
that no matter what
will always course through my veins
corrupting my brain
Yeah im tight,
I could be a dude who calls himself a plumber
cause all he knows how to do is lay pipe...
But im better than that
Don't get me wrong i don't regret our friendship
I just think that its time to go our separate ways
yes, it hurts me to watch you indulge
in that which causes you pain
But girl you're making me insane
No im not trying to unsay the things I have said
My memory of you will weigh down my heart like lead
I'd rather tie knots in my tongue
than unsing the songs that I've song
because of you..
The hell with my pride
if I could find the strength to I'd cry
Over the shriveled up hopes and dreams you left me with
It was time for me to quit
I'm confused about my feelings inside
which have now been personified by
-_-

Confession

I just dont get it
we used to be close
we used to be so happy
you and me both.
where did go we wrong
i just dont understand
everything changed
you went and gotta man
damn.

6irl, I've been so stubborn
I've had too much pride
you saw that it bothered
so you asked my why
i told you i didnt know
damn girl i lied

i lied to you
shxt i lied to myself
this is one hell of a hand
that we've been dealt
i guess i'll just try to sound
happy for you
ill fade into the background
its something i need to do.

i miss the way we used to
talk every night
i hate the fact that you're gone now
gone from my sight
sometimes its seems like
it might be okay
sometimes i wanna be
open and that that i.... =X

Grow Up

You don't know what you want
Yet you get mad when you don't get it.
You don't know what to do
But you get mad when you don't do something.
I'm tired.
I've been there
Always for you
But you take me for granted
So I guess its time for me to step back
I'm tired of being reliable
I'm tired of being the Fxckin phone friend
I'm just tired.
Time to mix it up
Good Luck. =)

Subliminal Message

Damn, I know you're talking
I should be listening
but I can't.
My mind wanders from your eyes to your lips to your hands.
I dont understand.
I'm so quick to deny
when other imply
but my mind still wanders
When my arms are around you
you tell me you feel safe
truth is,
so do I.
You're how I survive.
You keep me anchored
So I never lose hope
You're the reason I can cope
With my perpetual boredom
I wake up because of you
One of the many things that I do
Because of you
I write, I sing, I feel
whenever I think about you
It's funny, this is a whole new feeling
I dont like it.
Yet I do
I dont know I this feelings true
I know you are
But theres a problem
I cant tell you how I feel
I have this fear
This fear that its not real
that I'm bugging.
So I keep it to myself and my boy
If it ain't broke...dont fix it
I'm here for you
You're there for me
It doesnt really bug me
Thinking what could be
Because I know what I have
and I love it
I love you
Lets not get confused (haha)
not in love
its just love.
Mutual love.
You talk I listen
Most of the time
the rest?
I imagine us in rhyme
but then I snap back
Back to reality
I'm held down by the gravity
of my feelings for you.

Ugh

Its been a while, I dont know why. It's not as if I dont have anything to write about........I just think writing about it is kind of a way of admitting it. I'm not good at sharing feelings. So essentially life is 1. Boring 2. Annoying 3.Redundant 4. Utterly pointless.
I think my expectations might be too high, because I've come to the conclusion that alot of people disappoint me. Especially the females in my life....LOL. I think it's that I judge every girl on standards that might be too high. I think life might be alot easier and I might actually end up with a relationship that lasts more than 2 months if I stop expecting certain things of them. I mean currently I am just surviving off of just girls, no relationships. I think its mainly because I havent found a girl that holds my interest. No. That's a lie, I have two. But both frustrate me to disbelief....I think that is the root of my attraction. I know it sounds weird but it's almost as if I need to have a girl that challenges me and always keeps me on my toes. I need that constant reminder that I am not god. I love girls who can roughhouse with me. It's fun. But most of all I know that no matter how much time I spend with her, It will never be boring, I will never lose interest.
I also have a problem along with half the world of men with admitting I like someone. I'm stubborn I won't tell them......I imply =) In retrospect it is not the most intelligent of strategies. It's about an 85% successs rate. It's usually bound to fail if the girl who has captured my attention is stubborn like I am. I'm bad at blatently admitting romantic interest. Eh I know my flaws. It's just hard to correct them.